tête-à-tête
BEE LB
night stays longer now and what is there to do
but sit with it. i am young, still. i’ve barely
stepped past the start of my life. i dreamt of this
as a child. growing. living. making my way
through the night into dawn. and now this.
what am i saying? as a child, i waited
for a mouth to swallow me into endless nothing
same as now. i am young, still. i am growing
older by the day. i get what i want and i
turn away from it. what i want is
withheld and i strain myself reaching.
i chase circles around myself, the concept
of selfhood. i spin myself dizzy in search of it.
there are sounds of life all around if i’d listen.
the whole world just waiting for me
to take it. i try to keep my palms open.
my expectations low. my dreams
quiet. my life ongoing. my failures
dragging me under. failures, i meant
memories. i meant habits, compulsions,
consumption. soon enough night will be swallowed up
by the sunrise. what is there to do but wait, or wake.