tête-à-tête

BEE LB

night stays longer now and what is there to do

but sit with it. i am young, still. i’ve barely

stepped past the start of my life. i dreamt of this

as a child. growing. living. making my way

through the night into dawn. and now this.

what am i saying? as a child, i waited

for a mouth to swallow me into endless nothing

same as now. i am young, still. i am growing

older by the day. i get what i want and i

turn away from it. what i want is

withheld and i strain myself reaching.

i chase circles around myself, the concept

of selfhood. i spin myself dizzy in search of it.

there are sounds of life all around if i’d listen.

the whole world just waiting for me

to take it. i try to keep my palms open.

my expectations low. my dreams

quiet. my life ongoing. my failures

dragging me under. failures, i meant

memories. i meant habits, compulsions,

consumption. soon enough night will be swallowed up

by the sunrise. what is there to do but wait, or wake.

BEE LB is an array of letters, bound to impulse; a writer creating delicate connections. they have called any number of places home; currently, a single yellow wall on unceded Anishinaabe land in Michigan. they have been published in FOLIO, Figure 1, The Offing, and Harpur Palate, among others. their portfolio can be found at twinbrights.carrd.co and they can be found at patreon.com/twinbrights.