Final.
Sosena Audain
Cue Lacrimosa. Cue the splitting of the physical
pears from the classroom tree. Torn apart from me,
a part of me, letting me go to speak
in nothings. Blab about future. I wonder if that baby could
understand, on some level, what the song had
meant. If it could touch the chords of the
heart in some way, even if it was just to grasp at
the space between two ukulele strings moving
about time. To grow, we must think
in and out of our heads for meaning. In three days, my bed
will have probably fostered my bones better
than my own body. This writing may still be the last
flame of the campfire, fire’s tip
of the tongue a bee sting on the wood. In three months, junior year
will forsake me. I’ll be taking my midterms and recalling.
Loop Lacrimosa. A sun might peek through the skies then, and
maybe my upside-down eyes will ebb out this moment
when my sail aimed homewards. In three years, I will be
doing something scholarly. What the hell will I be
doing in thirty years. Maybe I’ll have a cat or two
and a wife who loves me enough to remember I
don’t like tomatoes alone, just on hamburgers, and I sleep with
one arm under the pillow beside me, reaching for
response, reaching at nothing. Maybe we’ll have a cottage.
Something we can call a home in something we can call
a life. I love this place. I’m not sure if I’ve said it yet. I love this
place. I don’t want to stop writing. Don’t take this pen away
from me.